Breakdown
by Crazy4MattBomer
Summary: A death of a young girl takes Neal back to one of the most tragic moments of his life. And he's not handling it well. Based on artwork/challenge from Kanarek13 Neal POV
1. Chapter 1

I sit on the ground in a Tunnel with my hands covering my face and Peter is few feet away looking at me "Neal you okay ?" I had heard Peter say I look up while tears fall down my face and I said "No I 'm Not okay " I stand up and next thing I Know Peter has taken his coat off and wrapped it around me .

" Peter i'm not okay" I say while trying to calm down while the FBI investagate the scene where a young girl died I look down and not notice Peter put his arm around me while we walk to the taurus " Neal whats wrong you okay" I look at him and shake my head.

"No Peter" this scene is taking me back to a most tragic moment from my life from when I was Danny Brooks when my mom Ellen & I were in St Louis before we were in Witsec anyway my mom had another baby I had a sister named Kate but she died when I was 15 .

Peter looked at me " did you find out how she died Neal" he said I said yes and start sobbing I looked down and start to have a nervous breakdown I had never had one before untill now Peter noticed and wrapped his arm around me "my dad had shot her with the same gun he killed a cop with " I say while trying to breathe I watched Peter and followed his breathing with mine and I did feel better.

while I was sobbing Diana said" Boss whats up with Neal hes crying take him home me and Jones got this" Peter said " he will be okay i'm taking him to me and el's house he's having a nervous breakdown this scene is taking him back to tragic moment in his life and i'm sure he will let me tell you" I nodded " yes Peter can tell you Diana " Peter told her while I buckled up and waited in the car .

I didnt feel good halfway to the house I said " Peter I dont feel good " and he pulled over I got out and got sick and Peter said" Neal stay here I'll run in and get gingerale" I said "okay Peter".

few minutes later after getting back on road I had fell asleep peter carried me in the house and laid me on thier couch Satchmo seen me and licked my arm Peter said " i'll be right back buddy stay with Neal he will need you " and Satchmo barked and laid by me while Peter went out to car and came back in and set gingerale by couch for when I woke up and El had came home and saw me laying on couch.

Peter told her what happened El said" oh my god is he okay " and got glass of wine and sat by me I woke up few minutes later and said " what happened where am I?" Peter sat by me in his chair and said I got sick on the way to the house and he got gingerale and soup from the store to settle my stomach I go home now and got up Peter said " Neal dont think about that right now you are home I know you meant June's but shes on vacation right now remember ".

I shook my head while Peter called mozzie and said" I'm sorry Peter that tragic moment in my life hit me hard and I'm not handiling it well " I Look down while mozzie comes in and says "Mon frere I heard what happened you okay since suit and mrs suit taking care of you" .

My head hurts but I said " yes i guess im okay moz I mean i think so" Satchmo cuddled by me and I petted him and he licked me "hey buddy " I say and Satchmo looks up at me


	2. Chapter 2

I Couldn't tell Peter I Still Had Nervous Breakdowns Since My Kate Died in the Plane Explosion I laid on couch I guess I felt better I dont know Moz said "Neal you have to tell Peter" I said " why would I do that I was in prison when the Funeral happened and yes I was crying that day since I missed her sure I did deal with the pain and heartbreak since that day I'm depressed and heartbroken .

But I 'm trying to recover but I sigh "moz I guess your right happy endings dont happen for guys like us" I say while I fight the tears from falling but I end up crying and say "I'm a failure since the nervous breakdown".

Moz looks at me and says" Neal your not either you have suit lady suit mrs suit June satchmo Jones and I we all love you " I go and lay on my bed "I know Moz " I say I just dont know and sigh and watch it rain out the window in the door in my room looking out at the patio.

And hide under the blankets Moz doesnt know I dont like thunder and lightning either Why did I just say that guess the broken me being scared to move on I Loved my Kate and had that breakdown at airport hangar that day Peter came in my apartment I layed in my bed and heard Moz tell Peter about that day Kate blew up at airport hangar.

" Thanks A Lot Moz" I scream while curled up under my blanket Peter said" you did" I nodded .

"Thats why I screamed noooo and my throat was hurting after the plane blew upguess I'm a failure of a CI arent I " I say and Peter sits by me on my bed and says "No Neal your not a failure"

I look up and say " i'm not how im heartbroken since my kate and my sister kate and ellen died and are gone and I'm alone Okay I said it I'm worthless I get it" thats why I cry so much and Peter says" no Neal you cry because your sad " I run my hand through my hair Peter looked at me.

" Ellen was like a mom to me but I been sad I guess I'm just a sad man behind blue eyes " I say and look down and tear up .

Peter hugs me and asks "want me to stay the night with you Neal" I nod and that night after Ellen's funeral I go back to June's I sat on the couch and had my Fedora on and I know sometimes its good to be a little bad I'm just sad .

"yes Peter your right why would I run you'd only find me and yes Peter I know you caught me twice " I say softly and Peter says "Neal its okay mozzie is right you have me Satchmo El Jones June Diana and him who all love you and will protect you" .

Tears fall down my face "thank you Peter" I say and Peter lets me cuddle next to him while he calms me down by saying sweet things in my ear but I can't stop crying but for that night I did .

the next morning I said "I'm not going into work today its Kate's birthday and I haven't gotten much sleep " Peter said "which Kate" I say "My Kate my sisters's is next week " I start crying and I know Peter would at me to Cowboy up but I cant and walk to flower shop and get My kate and sister kate and el flowers I get my Kate red roses my sister lillies and El mixed flowers with roses in them and I took Elizabeth her's she said " Neal I Love them " and hugged me .

I say " I wanted to since your like the mom I never had " and tear up and elizabeth says " aww Neal your like the son Peter and I never had too " I wipe my eyes and hug her and said " that meant so much to me mom " I'm happy I didn't run but sad for missing kate and took her hers and sat by her grave and start sobbing and say "I Miss You Kate I Love You Forever " and set the flowers by her grave andset ones by my sister's too while I'm there .

I still miss my Kate even though I'm sad and heart broken I'll always miss you kate


End file.
